EVERYONE HAS A STORY, here's mine, can you relate?
I was strong, independent, full of spunk and spontaneity, and relentless in the pursuit of the hustle. My business motto, give it all you got, and leave no money on the table. My relationships outside of business were probably way more passive than they should have been, including my relationship with myself.
As happy as I was, I didn't like who I had become.
It was no longer comfortable being alone inside myself.
Most people couldn’t see through the smiles. Most times my yes was really a no. I was pushing myself too hard to achieve success. Solving problems had become people pleasing and creativity was dull, and I lacked enthusiasm. My passion had become just a routine job that no longer looked like my dream. I was tired, frustrated, but afraid I would lose everything if I didn’t keep powering my way through. When life came crashing down on me, there was nothing I could do. So, I surrendered. Turns out, free falling back into my most vulnerable self was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Crashing into yourself is awkward, uncomfortable, and humiliating. But the rise from it is radiant, pure, and true. Today, I live out of this work, at peace and one with myself.
What’s worse than people thinking they know you?
You not knowing yourself.
I had to take a step back and do some self assessment:
Who was I being and why?
How did I get here?
What was meaningful and valuable to me?
What was I holding on to that I needed to let go of?
What parts of myself had I been hiding and protecting that needed to be set free?
Then I had to sit with myself to determine how I was going to unravel my pure radiant essence.
People were quick to try and label or fix me.
I knew I wasn’t who people said I was. I sure as heck wasn’t broken. I believe we bend maybe, but I don’t believe we break. I had been through a lot of stuff. When we are navigating big change, it can look crazy. I’m sure I did. When it was over, I had to change how I had been perceived. Learning how to stand up for myself and speak up for myself took time, but the work ultimately changed the way people saw me.
When you rise in your pure self, you know who you are, insults, misuse and disrespect hits different. You stand up and speak up for yourself. I did.
I had a lot going on in my life and some people were genuinely trying to help. So, I could have easily looked like I was a little off my rocker. But I wasn't stupid. I just needed time and space to find my way back to my pure loving self, and I did.
Check yourself, question your answers.
Burnout is one of the quickest ways to lose yourself in a false sense of who you are.
Can you remember where you were before the world told you who you should be?
I mean, we’re born right? We learn from each other. I was in eleventh grade in high school when I knew I had a deep curiosity about people. So much so that I initially pursued an education in psychology and sociology before switching to Mass Communications. My 30 year career has garnered me the opportunity to experience award winning success, the opportunity to climb corporate ladders, I’ve braved uncharted territory. As I’ve sat in board rooms, workspaces, studios, and in conference settings, I’ve witnessed the unrest and uncertainty of others who’ve also worked hard to achieve and can hardly make it from meeting to meeting. When we push too far though, we risk losing ourselves; sometimes even unaware of what’s happening.
I saw myself doing what I’m doing today; I didn’t know what it was . . .
I saw myself doing what I’m doing today; I didn’t know what it was . . .
One morning, twenty years ago I was standing alone quietly in the front area of our management office when suddenly I was whisked away into what felt like a dream but I was fully awake and mindful that I was alone and not sure what others would think if anyone were to walk in. I was in a trance that felt like it lasted for hours, but it had only been for a short period. I was in a room upstairs looking out of a door, down past a set of stairs to a room full of women lying down on the floor. The room was quiet, everyone was still, and there was a strong sense of peace that blanketed the room. I remember being just as captivated as everyone on the floor. The lighting was low and I remember seeing myself turn away as if to say good job, everyone was well. I remember feeling so fulfilled, as if I had arrived at a place where I’d long belonged. I didn’t understand what I was seeing. This happened in the 90’s and no one in the south was talking about burnout, exhaustion and certainly not a word about lying still on the floor in a room full of people with low light. That visual has stuck with me all these years. But, it wasn’t until I decided to break free from the chaos of work stress, the concrete jungle, and a life of busyness, that I understood that what I was seeing was my future and someday I would see this again and it is even more real this time than it was then.
Biography
My Story
I am Monique Walker. Life began for me in Third Ward, Houston, Texas. I was raised in rural Mississippi by two loving grandparents. I’m the mother of two amazing children who, through curiosity and without any suggesting from me, are braving meaningful paths through life and I’m super proud of them both. I’m equally proud of my grandkids whom I love deeply and who never cease to teach me the simplicity of life.
I work long hours for myself because I’m a creative and I’m deeply passionate about my work. I’ve been an entrepreneur since I walked away from a successful career in Corporate America years ago. Working long hours to near burnout led me to believe that if I could work this hard for others, I could invest my time and talents into myself, so that’s what I did. My story quickly became one of success, but with hard work, long hours, burnout and never taking self-care seriously.
I thought like many others, work while you can, you’ll have time to rest later. Well, that nearly got me killed. When it did, I quit everything. I gave up contracts and accounts, and just about everything I had and lived off of savings until it ran out. Sounds like a sad story? It’s not, instead it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I’m not encouraging anyone to do what I did. It was a risky move, and I had some good people supporting me. My big decision set me on the path to my journey to PURE U. PURE U is a coaching method that was birth out of my own personal experience. PURE U is the PERSONAL UNRAVELING of your RADIANT ESSENCE. I spent seven years giving my self time to rediscovering myself. PURE U is not the discovery of a NEW you, it is the rediscovery of the pure self that you have always been.
One thing I discovered first was that I wasn’t that far away from myself and that I could get back to myself. I had only drifted. It would just take inner work and time for me to find my way back home. I was 50 years old then, I’m 57 now, starting over, living my best life, with more interconnectedness, calm, more clarity and an abundance of self-love and confidence.
We really discover who we are and find answers to life’s biggest questions when life suddenly changes. Whether change is good or bad, it leaves an impression on us. We either thrive or survive. The one we choose is the tell all of who we know that we are.
Change can be a nightmare, but even nightmares have an expiration date. Abrupt change can turn you into someone that is not PURE U. The time that I gave myself to this deep work helped me to know how to not be defined by a bad set of circumstances and how to prevent new labels and identities from being thrust upon me. When life presents us with bouts of hard change, it can feel like glass shattering, limbs breaking, or a hard punch in the face. It can be a fragile and confusing time. The impact is mentally, spiritually, and physically exhausting. No matter what it feels like, all the pure essence of who you are is still there. You just have to do the work and rediscover it.
I’ll leave you with this for now. You are not broken; you don’t need fixing. Nothing is wrong with you, you are more than enough, and yes, there’s more to discover about you, and no, it’s not too late and you’re definitely not too old. You just need to take some time, step away from the noise, and embody the courage and freedom to unravel the fundamental meaning, value, and radiant essence of your pure being. Monique Walker is the founder of PURE U, a self-inquiry and self-discovery coaching and consulting practice, based in Houston, Texas. After many years conducting interview segments, writing scripts, and producing segments in the media and marketing industries, Monique switched gears and offer her clients a more holistic approach to achieving their goals through the employment of more personable, relational tactics. She has since added the practices of introspection, meditation and body-movement to her toolbox, as a Perception and Image Coach.
Her confidence in her own empathic instincts has led her to honor her inner voice, too, by helping others discover theirs. An intuit and genuine people-enthusiast, she holds a bachelor degree in Mass Communications from Rust College in Holly Springs, Mississippi. Having shared her creative know-how as a brand strategist, television producer/announcer, and writer in a career spanning over three decades, Monique’s future plans include pursuing a masters in Sociology, to further satisfy her curiosity about people and the environments where life happens.
Self Discovery can help you
rediscover yourself.
know yourself deeply
The more you know yourself. the less likely you are to give up on yourself. Giving up is not an option.
live out of the simplicity of life
Navigating big change can be intimidating to start but it gets better. Being present with yourself is divine.
speak up and ask with confidence
When you navigate your pure being, you live calm, clear, and engage with others with confidence.